It Is Well With My Soul

"When peace like a river attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll.

Whatever my lot thou has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul"

--Horation Spafford

     It is a hymn I have sang for years.  Blow right through it without a thought...until I get to the last verse about Jesus coming through the clouds.  I can dig that.  But this morning...this first verse hit my heart like never before.  A month ago, I lost a baby.  Wasn't planning on being pregnant, but the excitement set in...and then it was ripped away from me.  How could a God who loves me and has the best in mind for me....how could he do this.  And on top of that...we are trying to sell our house...and nothing is happening!  And to top it off, a week after I lost my baby...my parent's house burned to the ground.  I read the book of Job that night...all the way through.  

    And it hit me this morning...when I am at peace, it is easy to say that it is well with my soul.  But pain comes my way and I want to be mad at God. In knowing the back story of this hymn, the author lost his financial status due to fire, sent his family on a boat ahead of him to Europe and the ship sank killing his four girls but his wife survived, and then his only that he and his wife had after the boat sinking died of scarlet fever.  My life certainly feels like that right now..whether mine is as bad in the eyes of others or not.  The pain is real and it is huge in my heart.  But this morning, I continue to realize that I have little control over my life.  And without Jesus, it would never be well with my soul in the sorrowful times.  I can't imagine the life where I did not have Jesus to hold this pain...a life where it would never be well with my soul.  

   Whatever my lot, Jesus, it is well...it is well with my soul.